Many people don't know what to make of me. It's been that way since I was little. While my grandpa called my siblings Peanut and Princess, his moniker for me was Porky-pig. The translation of that name was "overweight" and "a handful." Admittedly, each was a fact.
As I grew older, some called me a devil; others call me an angel. If the truth be told, I was a little of each. At times, the dark side had the upper hand--and some of those activities made me hang my head in shame. Other times, the light prevailed--and some of those actions I hoped gave God a reason not to slam the pearly gates in my face.
As I grew even older, I realized that all of us had that dark and light side with qualities, traits and attitudes we found repugnant in ourselves and others of which we were proud. Said the renowned Buddhist Sogyal Rinpoche: "Two people have been living in you all your life. One is the ego, garrulous, demanding, hysterical, calculating; the other is the hidden spiritual being, whose still voice of wisdom you have only rarely heard or attended to."
As I grow wiser, I'm beginning to understand that this hidden, loving soul is waiting patiently for release. And in its release will come our freedom from these haunting dark and light sides. What a glorious day that will be, and it is our guarantee that no closed doors await us. Rather, a big welcome with a "Glad you could make it to the party! But--oh, by the way, don't get too settled because you'll be going back soon to help the others down there figure this out."
Dinner calls, so Sunday Confessions will be continued a week from today. . .